It is my hope that this will encourage somebody, and that's why I'm sharing all of this. As always, please remember that if you want to talk about anything, or have questions about what I'm saying, you can contact us at email@example.com. :)
I've blogged before about how God brought us to our home (Part One, Part Two, Part Three). We really thought when we moved last time, that we would be staying there a long time, maybe forever. Obviously, the Lord had other plans! Counting our move made almost two weeks ago now, we have moved five times in our five years of marriage! Whew! Talk about exhausting... but worth it. :)
Let's begin, shall we? In early July, I received a letter from the school where I earned my master's degree. It was a letter talking about a new doctoral degree program in counseling, which is what my master's degree is in. I have NEVER considered getting a doctoral degree. In fact, the only reason I decided to get my master's, is because I couldn't do anything with my bachelor's degree in Psychology! ;) When I first read the letter, I disregarded it, thinking that it was silly to even consider going back to school. After all, I have a little one to take care of now! Plus, did I even LIKE school that much?? I threw the letter in the trash, but couldn’t stop thinking about it.
I was shocked that the idea appealed to me at all. Was it even possible? It turns out, it was, in theory, at least. Even though the school is hours away, the degree plan is seminar style, so each class would only last 3-5 days. The more I thought about it, the more I felt led to apply. Lately, I had been missing counseling. I missed helping people, and being involved in it. I had considered taking out my textbooks and reading them, and we even sold a rooster to a Psychologist! (I realize that sounds completely random, but the Lord works in ways that seem crazy sometimes!) These things, although small, added up and made me feel like I should at least apply. Finally, I talked about it with my husband, and he was very supportive.
On July 13th, I decided to apply. There were many things to work out, such as J having time off of work to travel with me to school a couple of weeks or so each year, but I knew the Lord would work out all of the details. That evening, he informed me that he had applied for a job in what we’ll call “
”. He chose to apply for this job because he was so unhappy at his current job, and this particular job appealed to him. He had worked with the company at another location, so he already had experience with them. I was surprised. I had thought we were finally settled, but at the same time, the idea held appeal. We would be closer to my family, other vacationing spots that we liked to visit occasionally, and we would be a good bit closer to the school, as well. Of course, this would mean moving again, and leaving the place we had tried so hard to make into a home the past year. This was a huge decision, and we certainly didn’t want to make the wrong one, so we began to pray for guidance. Auburn
Although it seemed unlikely that it would happen, a big part of us believed it WOULD happen. We were afraid to commit to believing we would leave though, because we wanted to be content with whatever God chose to do with our lives. So, we straddled the fence in a way. We looked at the positives of both sides, and continued to pray.
At times I would feel freaked out. If this happened, we would be leaving what had become familiar to go to a brand new place, where we would be starting over, yet again. I could feel myself clinging to things around me, trying to find comfort in them, while distancing myself at the same time. It was a struggle to place my comfort in the Lord rather than in my surroundings, but He was helping me.
On July 21st, even though absolutely nothing had happened yet, we decided to start believing that we were going, because we both felt that we would. This is what I wrote in my prayer journal that day:
“Okay, here is what I decided. I think if I feel strongly that you want us in ‘
’, then I need to have faith that you’ll work it out, even though nothing has happened.” Auburn
Here is where the faith exercises really began. On the outside, nothing had happened. There wasn’t ANY reason to believe anything would happen. Yet, in our hearts we felt it. We believed that this was going to happen. We didn’t know when, or how, but we believed it. Everything that we had gone through up to this point in our lives, had prepared us to have this kind of faith. However, we weren’t naïve. I knew that because we were trying so hard to follow the Lord, things would be difficult at times. The devil WOULD try to discourage us, as much as he could.
There was one day J came home and told me they had extended the deadline for the job he had applied for, and he was discouraged at what this might mean. We began to discuss that it would be difficult to keep our faith, and then in that very moment, the Lord began bringing verses to our minds..
“We live by faith, not by sight.” – 2 Corinthians 5:7
“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” – Hebrews 11:1
“Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” - John 20:29
To us, this was a huge affirmation that we were heading in the right direction. We weren’t alone. J
To be continued…
Part Two here.
Linking up to Not JUST a Housewife