Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Our Home - Part Two :)

See part one here.

We prayed constantly.  We always asked that the Lord would give us guidance, and that He would stop us from moving forward if He didn’t want us to buy the house.  In fact, we pleaded that He would stop us if it went against His will for our lives.  We did NOT want this house if it wasn’t what He wanted for us.  We finally decided to call the realtor on Memorial Weekend to see if we could go take a look inside the house.  J was off that Monday, so we were hoping the realtor could meet us at the house that afternoon.  Sure enough, God was at work, and we were able to go look at the house that afternoon.  The house looked like it was in good shape.  I was slightly disturbed at the sight of a dead mouse on the floor of the kitchen, but the house hadn’t been cleaned yet, and we were out in the country after all.  (At least he was dead!)  There was a bird nest in the utility room because of a huge hole in the wall where the dryer vent should be.  I also had to escape a wasp in another part of the house, and saw a spider in one of the bedrooms.  I was used to bugs when I was growing up, but since then I had lived in apartments where bugs were seen less often.  So, I knew this was something I would have to accept and that I just had to get used to it again.  (This was actually one of the things on the ‘con’ list, haha!)  

There were definitely some things that needed upgrading and the land needed to be cleaned up, but overall, things looked good.  In fact, it looked much better than it did in the pictures online.  Honestly, the pictures online were pretty awful.  They really didn’t do justice to the house or the land at all.  After taking a look around, we realized that the house would need some work, but nothing major, which was a huge blessing.  We honestly believe that the Lord made it so the pictures online wouldn’t attract very many people, so it would be saved for us.  There were only 4-5 pictures, and they were taken at some bad angles.  They didn’t capture the beauty of the land or the potential of the house.  It's actually pretty strange that it even caught our attention.  It was no doubt the Lord!  In fact, the main reasons this house captured our attention was because of the price and the amount of land.  We had already decided before that we would rather buy an older house that we could fix up that was on some land, than have a new house in a neighborhood. This was a perfect opportunity for us.

We discussed the house more as we drove back home, and J asked me if I could see us living there.  I tried to picture it, but it wasn’t really easy.  I felt myself being pulled in two different directions.  I loved the idea of ‘living our dream’ out in the country, but again, I LOVED the house we were already living in.  I didn’t know what I wanted, and I was glad it wasn’t up to us to decide.  We were truly trying to trust the Lord to answer our prayers and stop our progress if we weren’t meant to buy the house.  

The first week of June, we decided to make an offer on the house.  That’s right… we saw the house online and placed an offer within a couple of weeks.  Crazy, right?  We felt that the Lord had brought us to that point and that we should move forward.  All the while we continued to pray that if He didn’t want us to buy it, our offer would be flat out rejected and that we wouldn’t be able to move forward any more.  I was still really scared about the whole thing.  I had complete faith that if we were meant to have the house, the Lord would provide for us and would help it happen smoothly.  Everything up to this point had happened smoothly.  What I had difficulty with was believing completely that He would stop us if we were making the wrong decision.  I questioned if we could be rebelling against Him without even realizing it.  We wouldn’t want to go against Him on purpose, but could we be wanting this house so much that we were ignoring what He really wanted for us??  As I prayed, I began to believe that because we were sincerely praying for His will to be done, that we weren’t rebelling.  I wanted to have faith… I didn’t want to doubt that He would take care of us.  I’ll give you a peek into what I wrote in my prayer journal about this on June 7, 2010.  

“It’s weird—I have faith that if you want us to live there, you’ll make it happen.  What I’m having trouble with is having faith that you’ll prevent us from getting it if it isn’t your will.  In my heart I know you can do all things.  My head just doesn’t always believe.  Forgive me Lord—give me faith!  I WANT to believe more and not doubt.  I’m kinda ashamed of myself actually.  The devil whispers in my ear and I doubt.  Keep him from us!  This is what I know—you can do ALL things, and we are your children.  You have a plan for us.  If this is what you want, you’ll make it happen.  If it isn’t, you’ll stop it.  We’ve prayed for this, and prayed sincerely.  If we were rebelling, I could see you allowing us to make a mistake to learn from it.  Because we are seeking you so much, I don’t think you’d let us make a mistake.  Is that right?”

At that very moment, a scripture popped into my head.  I didn’t know if I was remembering it correctly, so I looked it up. This was the scripture HE sent me.  

“I lift my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from?  My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and Earth.  He will not let your foot slip—He who watches over you will not slumber.” – Psalm 121:1-3

Can I just say WOW?!  What an amazing answer to my prayers!  He assured me that He was there and that as long as we were truly seeking His will, He would help us to make the right decisions.  I was relieved and in awe!

Part three (the final part) coming up tomorrow.  :)

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